Not much, but a concert notification!

Sadly, the title doesn't translate into a date to a concert.  In fact, it means some online somebody knew more about the music I enjoy to mention (albeit from a post I gave him) that my favorite alternative country musician is in KC in the next two weeks.  I got tickets for me and my daughter.  We can't wait.

Of course, I can't share that I'm going to the concert to this guy.  In fact, I'm not sure if I'm cut out for this kind of interaction with the human race.  It's weird, takes time, initiative (and in some cases that initiative is for naught) and patience.  Maybe the cool kidz (read: 18 - 35 y/o) don't have to be so patient, but now that I'm in middle age (yes, I said it), the patience it takes to find one with which you'd give up an hour for coffee is greater.

One guy who I'd exchanged a few back & forths with suggested he'd like me to contact him if I'm free on a Friday or Saturday night.  My first thought was why on earth I'd waste an evening with someone I hadn't ever met; is he wack?  One of my girlfriends took it a bit differently saying, "he wants you to ask him out; is he wack?"  Two rankings of "wack" means I didn't follow up with him. He eventually posted, "so, what are some of your favorite movies?" to which I haven't responded.  Hope he isn't holding his breath.

Two months in.

So, I’ve been busy.  Maybe too busy to keep the online thing going on, but I hate to drop it.   I rather like the diversion, and after a couple of weeks of crickets, I received three messages in the past 24 hours.  Okay, two don’t have pictures posted (drrr), but the other is one I’ve been communicating with on a limited basis.   I’m sad to realize that one guy (who I’d called my Sherpa) has removed his listing from OKCupid.  I don’t think we’d have ever met for real (he was the one who recognized me when I was out and about), but I can’t help feeling rejected in a small way.   He at least could write beyond an 8^th grade level and had a sense of humor.  Which brings me to things that annoy me:

One question/one word posts. 

“Hi.”  “You’re sexy, do you like slow kisses?”

Self-photos.

Okay, I get it; you don’t have any recent pictures of yourself.  Maybe you might consider at least holding the camera up toward your face vs. up shooting so we can see your nostrils or better, taken in the bathroom mirror.  Creepy.

No photo (thank you Melani!).

Really?  Dumbass, who wants to talk to someone who isn’t willing to share a pic?

Posts that are just this side of being violated.

One guy was all about performing oral sex on women. I guess, based on his message, he’s Mister Control at work (managing and bossing around “100s of people”), but in his personal life he just wants to be Mister ICanPleaseU.  Shades of Penthouse Forum.  Slurp. 

I’m so, so glad I have not signed up for a pay-service (yet).   Learning on a free scale gives me a clearer view of what to expect at Match or eHarmony.   I take it all with a grain of salt, wonder if anything of substance will ever happen with these so-called connections and, well, am enjoying the ride.  

Stellar.

I'm living all my online dating fears.

The one man I call my Sherpa? When I messaged him tonight, he messaged back quickly.  He asked if it was me he saw at a local coffee shop.  He relayed the name of the shop and its address. 

Really?  Now I know that the one I inadvertently gave my first and last name to (yea, Google email) is really sitting outside my home waiting to attack.   Keep out you psycho.

Laughing out loud.  Stunned.  And trying desperately to figure out if this guy who spotted me was the one I was holding the door for (he was awfully short!), or someone working behind the counter?  I scanned his pics on OKC, but I don’t remember anyone who looked like him.  Jaysus.  Just my luck.

At least I’m laughing about it.  For now.  After all, he recognized me because he was online too. I knew it could happen, I just didn't think it would happen, you know, in real life.  And why the heck didn't I see him?  I'm so obtuse, plus I was with my daughter.  We were having a special breakfast just her and me. That took precedence over me scanning the crowd for OKC faces.  

Now; however, I'm on the lookout.    

Slow Down.

I posted a picture of me with the cat and the online messages stopped including messages from the guy I inadvertently gave my name to.  Meow.

I have pro-actively written messages to two men (at the strong urging of the site’s administrators, "it works!"). Neither has responded.  Bleh.

I responded to a few gentlemen’s messages to me, but despite my witty repartee, crickets.  

My Sherpa (yes, for now, I have one) suggested that his best matches have come when he’s in “chill” mode and not actively trolling.  He made this comment when I’d said I’d fallen off the online dating wagon.  His thought was that it’s not necessary to become obsessed with it and, instead, relax.  Thought: He’s a man I pro-actively wrote to, and we’re still talking.  Hmm.

I don’t know why I’m in such a hurry to have a connection.  What a hassle and time suck it will be.  Sorry romantics, but it's the truth.

And this is why . . .

I had a natural fear of signing up for online dating.  Seriously??

Enjoy.

One Week In.

I’m going to attempt to give credence to my foray into online dating, one week in. Here’s a list of surprises that I didn’t expect, should have expected or hadn’t thought out:

 Marrieds.  Bad relationships, swingers, cheaters.  Online sites offer a plethora of people looking for diversion.  I give credit to those who are up front about their relationship status, but it’s not my thing.

 Poor Grammar. Typos.  All. The. Time.  Ghastly.  Did 90% of the online population fail high school English? 

Stupid Handles.  SlowHand, PotBurner, WhyNotHookUp, BushPilot (okay, maybe that one’s legit, but I have my suspicions after having read his profile). 

 Bait & Switch.  Profile reads one way, messages appear to have been written by someone else. 

 Speed.  Presumed Rejection.  You can quickly message someone. Seriously rapid deployment.   Despite your best efforts to be witty and flirty with a guy, he’s not always going to respond.  Some will, some won’t, so what, move on. 

 Stop, Too Much.  I don’t discount a boy who asks, “how are you” in an initial message. You don’t want to shoot your wad before you’ve figured out if the girl’s going to respond.  It’s not something I do, but I get it.  The opposite floors me: Boys gushing about love, going on and on about looking for love and how they like to love and all they want is love.  All right already.  I get it.  

What to Say Next.  This is my next big challenge.  I’ve got a dialogue going with someone and then hesitate as to what’s the next best thing to say.  Too much, and I’ve given up precious information I’d rather not share.  Too little, and I risk being cut off.   It’s weird and I’m working on it.

I’m actually pleasantly surprised at my limited experience. It’s not as scary as I’d made it in my head (isn’t that almost always the case?).  Tossing myself into the dating pool has provided me incentive to take care of myself (or at least think about it before I have one more helping of pie), to be authentic and recognize I’m not some middle-aged has-been with no future for a boy in her life.   At this point, the dialogue has all been online, and that’s okay.  I’m not ready for my close-up.

Crap, no I didn't!

For those just joining, I jumped into the online dating pool.  In a complete feat of utter stupidity (and just at three days of trial) I’ve managed to provide some complete stranger my first and last name. 

Oh, I was sly, I set up an anonymous email address using my online handle.  Unfortunately it wasn't anonymous (first & last name, egads) and I realized this after I emailed him a second time. 

Way to go whack-a-doo (that’s me).  You’ve probably given a more apt whack-a-doo just enough information to raise a serious ruckus. 

Good news?  I’ve only done this with one stranger. 

Bad news?  I’m sure that was his plan all along.  If you will, in the entire slog of online people I could have met, wouldn’t it be a karmic-bitch to have gone hook, line and sinker for the serial con man in my first plunge?

Ay, yi, yi.  

Lesson learned. Find another source for email linkage that is more secure.  And don’t give money to strangers. This online dating thing isn’t for sissies.

Plunge-a-rific, or Awk-ward?

I've just taken the dive into the online dating pool.  Five years after ending the lengthy relationship with my daughter's dad, it was time.

I've been setup on blind dates by my friends.  Never anything horrible, but I do remember when my friend's husband asked, after a setup, if I thought the guy was gay.  Really?  Blind dates have fizzled out, and I want someone to go to dinner with, take in a movie and, yes, have an occasional hook up.  Yikes, did I just say that?

Right now this is less than 24 hours old.  I've already recognized its addicting appeal.  It's hard not to respond immediately to a man's missive (well, sometimes it's not, like when he calls you "dear" in his first email, the message includes typos and his profile seems a bit nuts).  Guess I should check out The Rules before I delve too deeply into this foray.

I'll be posting updates here, as I have to let it out somewhere. As much as I feel giddy, I also feel exposed and vulnerable.  Blech, I hate those last two descriptors, but I have to be pragmatic.  

Stay tuned.

Glitter Fish.

I teach Sunday school to a group of five - eight year olds for a whole month about every other month.  It's always interesting coming up with something that teaches as well as entertains.  I found Glitter Fish while searching Pinterest. While these glitter fish aren't as spectacular as shown on Catholic Icing, they were a big hit, and I'm glad to have had the site for inspiration. 

Here's what we did today:

Take empty paper towel or toilet paper rolls, flatten them and cut them into strips.   Then cut the strips in half at one of the ends. 

Cut a slit on either end and attach them. 

Voila, fish!

Next, take white school glue and mix 1:1 with water.  Brush glue mix on the fish and drop them into a gallon-size zip lock filled with glitter.  FYI: I was able to easily put three fish into the bag.

Shake it up (just like I batter my chicken!). Make sure the fish are covered with plenty of sparkles!

By the way, I didn't have enough glitter, so I added some other sparkly items I had on hand.  

Voila, Glitter Fish!

We didn't have time to let these dry before we had to head to church. I brought in sandwich-size zip locks to place them in.  It limited the mess of glitter as the kids met up with their parents!  

The kids really enjoyed this activity, and kept asking for more and more fish to glue, shake and glitter.  

Great fun!  Thanks again for the idea Catholic Icing!

Hand-written thank you notes.

Always in fashion, I'm busy writing thank you notes for the gifts received over the holidays.  I sometimes wonder where people's heads are at when they forget to send the simple note that says, "thanks."

I had on my to-do list tonight to crank out two.  Got busy on the Internet instead.  Damn Facebook and Google+.   I wonder if that's where others' heads are at when they forget to put pen to paper in acknowledgement of a gift?  Hmmmm.