Stellar.

I'm living all my online dating fears.

The one man I call my Sherpa? When I messaged him tonight, he messaged back quickly.  He asked if it was me he saw at a local coffee shop.  He relayed the name of the shop and its address. 

Really?  Now I know that the one I inadvertently gave my first and last name to (yea, Google email) is really sitting outside my home waiting to attack.   Keep out you psycho.

Laughing out loud.  Stunned.  And trying desperately to figure out if this guy who spotted me was the one I was holding the door for (he was awfully short!), or someone working behind the counter?  I scanned his pics on OKC, but I don’t remember anyone who looked like him.  Jaysus.  Just my luck.

At least I’m laughing about it.  For now.  After all, he recognized me because he was online too. I knew it could happen, I just didn't think it would happen, you know, in real life.  And why the heck didn't I see him?  I'm so obtuse, plus I was with my daughter.  We were having a special breakfast just her and me. That took precedence over me scanning the crowd for OKC faces.  

Now; however, I'm on the lookout.    

Slow Down.

I posted a picture of me with the cat and the online messages stopped including messages from the guy I inadvertently gave my name to.  Meow.

I have pro-actively written messages to two men (at the strong urging of the site’s administrators, "it works!"). Neither has responded.  Bleh.

I responded to a few gentlemen’s messages to me, but despite my witty repartee, crickets.  

My Sherpa (yes, for now, I have one) suggested that his best matches have come when he’s in “chill” mode and not actively trolling.  He made this comment when I’d said I’d fallen off the online dating wagon.  His thought was that it’s not necessary to become obsessed with it and, instead, relax.  Thought: He’s a man I pro-actively wrote to, and we’re still talking.  Hmm.

I don’t know why I’m in such a hurry to have a connection.  What a hassle and time suck it will be.  Sorry romantics, but it's the truth.

And this is why . . .

I had a natural fear of signing up for online dating.  Seriously??

Enjoy.

One Week In.

I’m going to attempt to give credence to my foray into online dating, one week in. Here’s a list of surprises that I didn’t expect, should have expected or hadn’t thought out:

 Marrieds.  Bad relationships, swingers, cheaters.  Online sites offer a plethora of people looking for diversion.  I give credit to those who are up front about their relationship status, but it’s not my thing.

 Poor Grammar. Typos.  All. The. Time.  Ghastly.  Did 90% of the online population fail high school English? 

Stupid Handles.  SlowHand, PotBurner, WhyNotHookUp, BushPilot (okay, maybe that one’s legit, but I have my suspicions after having read his profile). 

 Bait & Switch.  Profile reads one way, messages appear to have been written by someone else. 

 Speed.  Presumed Rejection.  You can quickly message someone. Seriously rapid deployment.   Despite your best efforts to be witty and flirty with a guy, he’s not always going to respond.  Some will, some won’t, so what, move on. 

 Stop, Too Much.  I don’t discount a boy who asks, “how are you” in an initial message. You don’t want to shoot your wad before you’ve figured out if the girl’s going to respond.  It’s not something I do, but I get it.  The opposite floors me: Boys gushing about love, going on and on about looking for love and how they like to love and all they want is love.  All right already.  I get it.  

What to Say Next.  This is my next big challenge.  I’ve got a dialogue going with someone and then hesitate as to what’s the next best thing to say.  Too much, and I’ve given up precious information I’d rather not share.  Too little, and I risk being cut off.   It’s weird and I’m working on it.

I’m actually pleasantly surprised at my limited experience. It’s not as scary as I’d made it in my head (isn’t that almost always the case?).  Tossing myself into the dating pool has provided me incentive to take care of myself (or at least think about it before I have one more helping of pie), to be authentic and recognize I’m not some middle-aged has-been with no future for a boy in her life.   At this point, the dialogue has all been online, and that’s okay.  I’m not ready for my close-up.

Crap, no I didn't!

For those just joining, I jumped into the online dating pool.  In a complete feat of utter stupidity (and just at three days of trial) I’ve managed to provide some complete stranger my first and last name. 

Oh, I was sly, I set up an anonymous email address using my online handle.  Unfortunately it wasn't anonymous (first & last name, egads) and I realized this after I emailed him a second time. 

Way to go whack-a-doo (that’s me).  You’ve probably given a more apt whack-a-doo just enough information to raise a serious ruckus. 

Good news?  I’ve only done this with one stranger. 

Bad news?  I’m sure that was his plan all along.  If you will, in the entire slog of online people I could have met, wouldn’t it be a karmic-bitch to have gone hook, line and sinker for the serial con man in my first plunge?

Ay, yi, yi.  

Lesson learned. Find another source for email linkage that is more secure.  And don’t give money to strangers. This online dating thing isn’t for sissies.

Plunge-a-rific, or Awk-ward?

I've just taken the dive into the online dating pool.  Five years after ending the lengthy relationship with my daughter's dad, it was time.

I've been setup on blind dates by my friends.  Never anything horrible, but I do remember when my friend's husband asked, after a setup, if I thought the guy was gay.  Really?  Blind dates have fizzled out, and I want someone to go to dinner with, take in a movie and, yes, have an occasional hook up.  Yikes, did I just say that?

Right now this is less than 24 hours old.  I've already recognized its addicting appeal.  It's hard not to respond immediately to a man's missive (well, sometimes it's not, like when he calls you "dear" in his first email, the message includes typos and his profile seems a bit nuts).  Guess I should check out The Rules before I delve too deeply into this foray.

I'll be posting updates here, as I have to let it out somewhere. As much as I feel giddy, I also feel exposed and vulnerable.  Blech, I hate those last two descriptors, but I have to be pragmatic.  

Stay tuned.